The Control Freak

Have you ever had controlling tendancies? Do you know a meddling manager or a pushy parent? Do you plan the day, the week, and the month for you and your family? What happens when your 15 minute trip to the store turns out to take 45 - 60 minutes because you forgot your wallet along with the list? I don't know about you but typically my heart begins to beat in my fingers, my chest tightens, and thoughts race through my mind. I am a control freak, actually according to Les Parrott III, Ph.D. I am a recovering control freak. Truth be told, I like the sound of a "recovering" control freak better than a control freak in denile. If you have issues with control, work with those who have issues with control, live with someone who has issues with control, or simply want to deal with your own issues of control, then book entitled, The Control Freak by Les Parrott III, Ph.D. is the book for you.

This book is well written and an easy read for the layman. Dr. Les Parrott III organized the book into three basic sections: 1) Who is in control? 2) Taming the control freaks around you, and 3) Controlling the control freak within you.

The first part of the book gives the reader a brief understanding of the need to control, the symbianic relationship between control and anxiety, the autonmomy of a control freak (my favorite chapter), and why control freaks act the way they do.

The second part of the book covers six common control freaks you will either encounter or are. Dr. Parrott III reviews these six control freak types, briefly describes how they evolved, and provides practical tips on how to deal with, work with, or avoid them. The six types of control freaks Dr. Parrott III writes about are: The meddling manager, the coercive colleague, the supervising spouse, the pushy parent, the invasive in-law, and the tenacious teen.

The third and last section in the book talks about controlling the control freak within. Throughout the book, the author provides the reader with self tests and assessments to determine whether they are or the person their thinking of is a control freak. This section is no different. Dr. Parrott III gives you a 13 question assessment so you can review your answers and diagnose your control freak symptoms. In his pragmatic ways, Les provides the reader with safeguards to keep you from spinning out of control, rebuilding damaged relationships, and taking charge without being a control freak.

MY TWO CENTS WORTH:

This is an easy read as well as a quick read. Dr. Les Parrott III writes for the average man. He gives hope to those of us who are spinning out of control with our need to control our environments (i.e. home, work, personal, spiritual). I highly recommend this book to anyone dealing with personal control issues or those of you struggling with working with others who have the need to control.

I have to admit, I bought this book because my life was spinning out of control. My anxiety was going through the roof. My personal life, professional life, and spiritual life were slipping out of my hands. Every time I jumped to grab the rings, I realized the rings were made of smoke. Through The Control Freak, Dr. Les Parrott III was able to help me understand that I do have an issue with control. The more I control events or things the more stable, the more comfortable, and the more I can do. However, when I begin to lose control (i.e. something does not go as planned) my anxiety begins to rise and my control tendancies kick into hyper-drive. When I am in hyper-drive, life all around me is negatively impacted. Through this book, Dr. Les Parrott III showed me that all control is not bad or counter productive. I also learned that when I or someone I work with has a strong desire to control everything, it is a sure sign that their anxiety is high (for some reason or another) and they need to control so that their anxiety will be reduced. Finally, this book has given me a new set of glasses to wear. Over the last few weeks I have been looking at people and their interactions with one another and trying to determine whether they are a control freak or someone who submits to the control freak. If I have determined they are a control freak, then I adjust my ways of interacting with them so that their anxiety drops as well as mine. Has this been successful? Not every time, but I have come to the realization that our personal and professional anxiety rises when we feel we are out of control. All in all, this book has helped me gain control of my over controlling tendencies.

I highly recommend The Control Freak by Dr. Les Parrott III. It is worthy of one's coveted bookshelf space.

Calvinism, Arminianism and the Word of God

Every now and then I find my way into a discussion about free will, grace, atonement, and election. I will be the first to admit, these are deep topics and I usually cower into the corner and let the loudest and most aggressive guy have is day. People are passionate about their beliefs and, sadly, will aggressively defend their belief because they believe they are right. Sometimes these beliefs are not scripturally based but are defended as if they are the absolute truth. At times, these beliefs create divisions among the believers so bad that the faith as a whole becomes damaged.

The book Calvinism, Arminiansim and the Word of God examines the five points of Arminianism, the Calvinist position regarding these five points (TULIP), and what the Word of God says about these five points. Chuck Smith clearly outlines the five points of Arminianism, the five points of Calvinism (TULIP), and what the scriptures say regarding those same five points. The book does not attempt to say who is right or who is wrong but utilizes the scripture to provide the reader with the necessary tools (God's word) to formulate your position.

The "Five Points of Arminianism" include the following: Free will, conditional election, universal atonement, obstructable grace, and falling from grace.

The "Five Points of Calvinism" include the following (TULIP): Total depravity, unconditional election, limited atonement, irresistible grace, and perseverance of the saints.

A scriptural response regarding the following points: Depravity, election, atonement, grace, and perseverance.

In the closing pages of this book, Chuck Smith sums it up beautifully when he writes: " To say what God says in the bible - no more no less - is not always easy, comfortable, or completely understandable. But Scripture tells us that the wisdom from above will be loving and kind toward all, seeking the unity of the believers, not trying to find ways to divide and separate from one another." When examining doctrine it is ok to discuss and to even have disagreements; however, it is not ok to be divisive.

MY TWO CENTS WORTH:
Although some of these topics are way over my head, I find it easier to rely on the scripture and "believe" simply because of God's word. We are all sinners, God chose me, God sent His only son to pay the price for me, God did what He did simply because He wanted to, and I am His forever. I can't explain it, rationalize it, or win an argument about it. However, I can find comfort in the multiple scriptures that support my positions. Above all, I need to seek those things that produce the loving nature of Jesus in my life rather than winning every argument.

The Claims of Christ

The Claims of Christ was written by Chuck Smith. He is the senior pastor of Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa, California. In a nutshell The Claims of Christ is a positional booklet. It provides the reader with Calvary Chapel's biblical position regarding the claims Jesus Christ made. Pastor Chuck Smith outlines nine claims and systematically addresses them. His arguments are well thoughtout and scriptually supported.

MY TWO CENTS WORTH:
This booklet is straight forward and pulls no punches. I would recommend this book to the guy who knows little to nothing about Jesus, I'd recommend this booklet to the guy who has gone to church on and off throughout his lifetime, and I'd recommend it to the guy who has gone to church year after year. The Claims of Christ is a short book (quick read) with a solid punch. The book makes you sit back and think, "Why do I believe in Jesus Christ?" "Can I give another man an answer for my belief in Jesus Christ?"

For years I have attended Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa. If you were to ask me if I believe in the claims of Jesus Christ, I'd say yes and I'd go into a robotic type speech and/or explanation. However, if you'd ask me to give you biblical evidence supporting my belief, I would melt like Frosty the Snowman on a hot summer day. Chuck Smith has been a solid pastor and teacher for as long as I can remember. His approach has not changed. This no-frills booklet has hit home and has provided me with the biblical reasons as to why I believe the claims of Jesus Christ.